


Butterfly

by Linky



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Spoilers, contains spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 11:30:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5742094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linky/pseuds/Linky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quiet moment to ponder the ultimate futility of beautiful things lasting in the wastelands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterfly

**Author's Note:**

> This piece does contain spoilers for the main fallout 4 quest line, so if you haven't completed it yet and do not want to spoiled, please don't read! 
> 
> Always feel free to leave me a comment on your thoughts, I really love and appreciate hearing from you. You can find this same piece on tumblr at fereldentrashbag.tumblr.com/tagged/Trashbag Writes along with some of my other works. If you're on tumblr, don't feel shy to pop in and say hi, i spend a lot of time on there c:

There is a butterfly, there, flittering in the night. Tugged through the air like a paper boat caught in a strong current. Tattered wings beating feebly against its own weight. I can hardly see it in the darkness, but I know it when it drops. Like a pebble tossed, landing with a soundless ‘plop’ in the nothingness of the wastelands. I feel sad, though I know, in this hostile world, beautiful things never stay. It was dying long before I noticed it.

Desdemona is back. Strangely, my heart is stuttering in my chest. In the pit of my stomach, like a blossom beneath snow, hope is pooling. It wants to reach its fingers out, it wants to tell me that maybe she was wrong before. Maybe it was a bad dream - a broken one. But she doesn’t say anything. I wait a moment longer, to see if anyone follows behind her; to see if anyone is lingering beyond the light. There isn’t.

“Des.” I speak up, hoping I sound normal. But I don’t even know what that would be for me. The others don’t either. Her eyes cast my way briefly, before she indicates that I should follow her. We’re not far from the others, just out of earshot if we talk softly.

“She told me to give you this.” Desdemona says, handing me a holotape, “I didn’t know why, at first. I’ve got no idea what’s on it. But considering how it all ended up, probably goodbye.” She leaves me standing there, the darkness at my back, 

Tinker Tom has a terminal set up. He and Des share a look that I don’t understand before quietly moving away. At first the holotape doesn’t play, I think it must be broken. I’m not too disappointed - got no idea what’s on it anyway. But I hear her voice, softly, just as my finger hovers over the eject button. My throat tightens, something is stinging my eyes.

‘ _Hey Deacon_.’ She’s quiet again, ‘ _I wasn’t sure about…this. But if you’re listening, well, I guess I must have made up my mind. I’m sorry I can’t be there, really. But you have to understand, no matter what he did, Shaun was my son. I know what Desdemona wants to do to the Institute, and I’m not disagreeing. But…he’s my_ son _. I can’t leave him behind. I can’t lose him again. Not if I have nothing to go back to. Nate is dead. Shaun will be dead. I don’t have anyone else. So I’m not…I’m not coming back with the rest. I’m going to stay down there with my son._

‘ _Listen, I know it’s…I know it’s.._.’ There’s a pause, it sounds like she’s wiping her face, ‘ _Sorry. I know it’s too late to say this now. I don’t even know if you want to hear it. I tried to tell you before but…you didn’t want to hear it then. Or maybe you did and I’m just bad at this. Deacon I…you were the only thing that made surviving worth it. Being with you was…better than before the war. I love you. Or, loved you. Take care of Dogmeat for me. See ya ‘round. Be good_.’

I’ve never been sure of much in my life. Everything changes. Even me. Mostly me. But it would have been nice to have a constant - to have a forever. I thought, if she would just say something, I thought she could be my forever. But all these things she never said…she was a butterfly.


End file.
